Wednesday Night Debate
by Michael
Abromowitz
Senior Writer
10/15/08
These past few
months
have been
exciting beyond belief. Watching the
competition battle it out has never been so entertaining, and I am not
even
talking
about football. I'm talking about the
Presidential Election, an event I hope many Americans are focusing on. This election coverage has been so exciting;
I am guilty to admit that I am watching more CNN than ESPN these days.
In the spirit of the
debate tonight,
and my love to make everything sports related, I thought I would create
some
dialogue based on the Monday Night Football team of Mike Tirico, Ron
Jaworski,
and Tony Kornheiser:
(music
begins to play) Da Da Da Dah, Da Da Da
Dah, Daaaa, Daaaa, Daaaaaaaa.
Mike
Tirico: Ladies and Gentlemen,
welcome to
another edition of "Wednesday Night Debate!" We
are in beautiful Hempstead, NY on the campus of
one of the most
prestigious stages for debates: Hofstra University.
This is the 3rd and final meeting
for our two fierce competitors: the
Republican, John “The Maverick” McCain and the Democrat, Barack “Change
is
Coming” Obama. This is the beginning of
what looks to be an exciting night of intense debating between these
two Senate
foes with domestic and economic policy as the main focus of discussion. Before I get any further, let me introduce my
two partners of crime: on my right, the
quarterback Ron Jaworski and on my left, the always opinionated Tony
Kornheiser. My first question is for
Jaws. Jaws, according to polls from the
last two debates, Barack Obama has been victorious, how does John
McCain get
this so needed victory tonight on perhaps the most important debate?
Ron
Jaworski: That is a great question
Mike,
and after both debates I went back to the film room and did some
analysis, and
what I found was astonishing: John McCain
must improve on his execution. He has
the twenty plus years of experience but watching him speak against
Obama, it
looks like Obama was the veteran. Look
at this following tape: Barack Obama
sits there calm and collected and even when he doesn’t have the best
answer to
a question he is able to remain calm in the pocket and execute. John McCain on the other hand has shown some
hesitancy and a lot of moving around like he is nervous out there. He is the veteran here, and needs to show the
American people that. A solid execution
will show he has poised and that is what is needed to be successful in
the White House. If he is
able to execute and get the message across that he has the needed
experience to
be President and Barack doesn’t then he just may be able to pull out
the
upset. After two previous victories,
look for Obama to stay conservative. He
has a strong lead in the polls and he doesn’t want to risk anything if
he
doesn’t have to.
Mike
Tirico: Thanks Jaws for that
breakdown. As always, Tony can we have
your final thoughts before this debate begins?
Tony
Kornheiser: I hope this debate goes
quick, it’s already 9 PM. What were they
thinking about putting these debates this late? All
the old people in Florida
are already asleep and it looks to
me that John McCain is ready to pull out his dentures and join them. Its great being in Hempstead as I am only 10
minutes from my hometown of Lynbrook. You gotta love being back home, especially
seeing all those “Tony 4 Prez” signs in the David S. Mack Sports and
Exhibition
Complex. Shout out to my boy
Wilbon. After last time, I have taken
bets for how many times John McCain will say the phrase “My Friends.” I’m guessing 15 and probably 0 for the number
of times we expect to hear “That One.” This
night is about the undecided voters, the few that are actually still
out
there. It is not that these voters can’t
decide, it is just that they have been unable to stay awake for these
debates. I just hope I can stay awake
for the intermission.
Mike
Tirico: Thanks Tony for that
always
colorful commentary. Just a note to our
viewers and to Tony’s dismay, there will be no intermission. It looks as our moderator for the night, Bob
Schieffer, is ready for the coin toss. Both
parties have entered the stage and we are
about to hear the first
question. A reminder to everyone,
immediately following the debate, we will have a post debate analysis
with two special guests: vice presidential candidates Sarah "I'm
a Reformer and also a Maverick" Palin and Joe "I'm just an Average Guy
from Scranton" Biden.
