If I owned the Cincinnati Bengals
by Michael Abromowitz
Senior Writer
12/10/08


I have spent the past few months venting my anger toward Mike Brown and his family for their dictatorship like rule over the Bengals.  See the following article:

Hopeless in Cincinnati and quote from the Cincinnati Enquirer:

"After the amazing turnaround he's done with Cincinnati," said Abromowitz, president of TheFootballExpert.com, "every team would be happy to take him. It is not Marvin Lewis that should be on the hot seat, but rather the Brown family."

However, I am far from being alone.  Thousands of Bengals fans are tired with the dismal outcome that this team produces and most don’t see an end to this pain until Mr. Brown is no longer a part of this team.  Many, including myself, believe the fix is not a new coach, a healthy Carson Palmer, “good players” in the locker room, but rather an ouster of the Brown family as owners.  Brown’s refusal to invest in his team’s management, scouting, and practice facility are main reasons for the Bengals’ lack of success.  NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell has been tough during his tenure on NFL players, let us assume he spins this around and he becomes tough on owners.  If they don’t put competitive teams on the field, they will be forced to sell. 

Note - I know Roger Goodell essentially works for the owners, but I needed a segway into how I would get my hands on owning the team. 

This rule, thus forces Mike Brown to sell, and somehow, I gain ownership of the Bengals thanks to a team of investors that include some wealthy Ohioans:  Leslie Wexner (Limited Brands), Clayton Mathile (formerly of Iams), and Richard Farmer (Cintas).  This group has a net worth over $5 billion, giving them and myself flexibility in spending.  As President of the new Bengals’ ownership team, I would also invite Boomer Esiason, Anthony Munoz, and other former Bengals greats to become minority owners.  I would even invite Cincinnatian and huge Bengals fan Nick Lachey to become a minority owner.  I believe this will get fans excited about the new ownership.  Fans like the idea of people they like owning their team. 

First thing I would do is change the name of the stadium.  Yes, like most people I think it is great what Paul Brown did for the city of Cincinnati and the Bengals' organization, but I think it is just as great what the Hamilton County Taxpayers did in financing the stadium.  The Taxpayers were responsible for the stadium because poor Mike Brown cried to the county that the team NEEDED the stadium to build a winner.  So in honor of the great citizens of Hamilton County, the new name will be:  Paul Brown Field at Hamilton County Taxpayers Stadium.

The next thing I would do is hire a general manager, something the Bengals have desperately needed.  I could try to get a big name, but I am going to do what has been successful in the past and because I do not think a big name would come to Cincinnati:  get the 2nd in command from one of the top franchises.  So I go into Baltimore, and give the general manager job to Pat Moriarty, the current Vice President of Administration of the Baltimore Ravens.  He has been with the Ravens since 1994, and he is one of the most respected authorities on working with the salary cap.  I tell Moriarty to build me a top notch scouting department and get me some bright minds to work with him in the player personnel department.  I want scouts all over the country so no prospect will go unnoticed, even if they are from Western Oregon (Kevin Boss).  On draft day, I want us to be able to know everything about every prospect so my team can make a solid and sound decision.  I don’t want any Chris Henrys in my locker room and I will make sure that won’t happen.


As owner, I am going to allow Moriarty far more power when it comes to managing the coaching staff, but I still would have an input.  I would make my recommendation for the Bengals to keep Marvin Lewis, as I feel he is one of the few positives on this team.  I would recommend much of the other coaching staff to be dismissed.  I would get a core of my veteran players to work with Lewis and Moriarty to hire the rest of the coaching staff.  I want my players having an impact on who will coach them.  Carson Palmer is my franchise player, and I want him to have an impact on who is the Offensive Coordinator and what type of offense he is going to run. 

The next thing is to actually build a practice facility.  No more patch of grass next to the stadium.  I want to build a state of the art facility in Indian Hill, Ohio, a very exclusive area in Cincinnati where many Bengals currently live.  I want my team to feel a sense of privacy, unlike their current situation where they have to cross a public street to practice.  I want the facility to be on par with the Falcons’ in Flowery Branch, Georgia and the Ravens’ Castle in Owings Mill, Maryland.  The Bengals would finally have an indoor facility to practice at.  It is going to be referred around the NFL as "The Four Seasons."  I also would offer free daycare to the players and employees of the team.  It may sound completely ridiculous, but the daycare may actually be the incentive that sells a free agent to the Bengals.  Some player’s wife would love the opportunity for her husband to take the kids to work, so she can either go to work herself, of have some time to herself.  Remember, when getting a free agent who is married to sign, you have to please the wife more than the player.  This facility should entice top free agents to come play for the Bengals, and current Bengals to want to stay.  When players are free agents, they look beyond their potential salary many times.  They want the aesthetics and more important a desire from ownership to win. 

For the first season, I am going to reduce season tickets to fans.  We are in a recession and the past 15+ years have been a disastrous era for the Bengals.  Our ownership will prove to the fans how serious we are by changing things around by decreasing ticket prices by 20%.  We will also keep seats open to charities such as Special Wish Foundation and Cincinnati Public Schools.  And to ensure a sellout, all extra seats not sold before the NFL Blackout deadline will be bought by my ownership team and given to the groups mentioned above.

Other Changes I would make:

Make all my players get involved in Big Brothers/Big Sisters or another other youth organizations.  Most of this will be during the offseason, but I want my players to give back to the community, most specifically the youth because those are the ones who look up to them as role models.  For players who live out of town in the offseason, they can get involved in their area.  Being a Bengal and playing in the NFL should be a privilege and I want my players to know that.

A financial planner available to my players.  Many of these players get into the NFL with no clue how to manage all their money.  I will offer them access to a financial planner if they wish. 

A PhD Statistician.  So much of football is about numbers and percentages.  I want a Statistician to help my coaches with when to go on 4th down, what are high probability plays, what is the opponent’s most often play call on 1st down?  If I had someone analyzing all of this data, I really think it could be beneficial.  One thing I know, the numbers don’t lie.  Just ask the current Bengals:  1-11-1. 

$1 hot dogs.  The Cincinnati Reds have done this and it has been a hit.  A hot dog is extremely cheap to make and more importantly, the more hot dogs consumed, the more beverages sold, and everyone knows a food business makes all of its money in the drinks.

After 5 years, if there is no improvement in the team, my ownership team will sell the Bengals.  But after the Mike Brown legacy, we don’t expect that to happen as he has set the bar so low.  And will our ownership worried about losing money?  Heck no, we just invested in a NFL team.  If we were trying to make money we would have put our money in crumbling stocks that could be had for pennies.  We have $5 billion, we can afford to have some fun!

However, I will keep one thing Mike Brown did with the Bengals:  nepotism.  I will name my brother, Scott, Director of the Ben-Gals cheerleading squad.  He will be in charge of recruiting, tryouts, photo shoots, and clothing.  Don’t worry, he is more than qualified.